The Effects of Lumpy Pillows
by Dandiegoose
Summary: Who knew that lumpy pillows could cause such problems... AU/AH Sexy time to come...


**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this work.**

**EPOV**

I am horny.

I don't have any other way to say it... Just flat out horny. My hand has been my savior, but it just doesn't cut it. I've grown too accustomed to daily sex. Unfortunately, that's not happening right now.

Bella, my live-in girlfriend, isn't speaking to me unless absolutely necessary. It's been this way for two weeks now. I _may_ have said something to the effect of her voice resembling screeching seagulls when we were fighting over something stupid. It's not true, but sometimes she gets so shrill that I can't think. And now, she's not speaking to me, let alone having sex with me. Hell, I've been sleeping in the guest room. Lumpy fucking pillows are all I have going for me.

Tonight, I'm planning to fix this.

I was going to cook for her, but I don't think frozen pizza will do anything to help my situation. She'd probably take my lumpy pillows. I also nixed the idea of taking her out. I tried that last week. It just didn't bode well for me or my balls. So, I ordered dinner from her favorite Chinese place. I also bought her a bouquet of her favorite orange roses.

I'm hoping between the roses and the food, I'll be forgiven and _finally_ not have to use my hand to get off.

*&^%

Bella comes home and… ignores me.

I really shouldn't be surprised, but I was really hoping for some sort of acknowledgement.

"Baby?" I call to her from the dining room doorway.

I can see her roll her eyes then look at me. She has on her best "bitch" face.

_Yay me!_

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as I run my hands through my hair.

"Will you come in here?" I gesture with my head, "I got us some dinner." I give her a pleading smile and hope that I'll still have balls in five minutes.

She rolls her eyes at me again and walks by me into the dining room. She's careful not to touch me as she slides by which really bothers me.

I sigh and walk by her to pull out her chair. I get rewarded with a half-smile.

_Wooo! Making progress!_

I run into the kitchen and bring out the plated food. I set the plates down and give her a swift kiss on the head before running back in and grabbing the roses. I put them in the middle of the table then take my place next to her.

I'm rewarded with another half-smile.

_That is one full smile for the day!_

It's more than I've gotten in two weeks, so I gladly return her half-smile with a huge grin.

We eat in silence. It's awkward and uncomfortable, but at least I get to sit next to her. I've really missed her.

She finishes her food quickly then watches me eat. Before I'm done, she takes her plate to the kitchen then disappears into the bedroom. If this had happened yesterday, I would have left her alone. But I'm done with this. We're finishing this fight tonight. And I'm really hoping for more than my hand in the shower… but I won't hold my breath.

*&^%

I knock on the bedroom door. She doesn't answer, but I think I hear the shower. I test the door and it's not locked!

_Score! Edward: 1 Bella: 2,675,124_

I'm right, she's in the shower. I strip down to my boxers and go stand outside of the bathroom. I can see her moving around in the shower.

_It's now or never, asshole. Go get your girl back._

I shove my underwear off and sneak into the back of the shower. When she's done rinsing her hair, I wrap my arms around her torso and bury my face in her neck.

She tenses and squeals in surprise. Once she realizes it's just me, she relaxes into me.

"I miss the way your hair smells when you're curled up next to me in bed. I even miss your frozen toes on my calves," I whisper in her ear as I bring my hands to rest on her stomach. "I miss the sound of your voice. I miss the way you talk in your sleep and the way you snuggle into my chest on cold mornings. I miss the way you look at me when you tell me that you love me and I miss the way you whisper my name before you come."

"Edward…"

"Hold on. I'm not done yet," I whisper.

I spin her around and pull her as close to me as I can then cup her ass in my palms. I run my nose down hers as I whisper, "But mostly, I missed looking into your eyes and seeing how beautiful you are. I'm so sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. Unfortunately, my mouth says things I don't think about."

I look at her face and she seems pretty receptive, so I kiss her with everything I have. I'm only half expecting her to respond, so I'm really surprised when she wraps her arms around my neck and responds with equal enthusiasm.

I feel her tits pressed against my chest and I really want to touch them.

_I mean, seriously, it's been two weeks since I've touched a pair of tits… give a guy a break…_

Hoping that she doesn't kick my ass out of the shower, I glide my hands up her slick body and go for her tits. She doesn't stop me.

_Score._

I mentally fist-pump as I begin massaging her tits. Her fingers find their way into my hair and she begins tugging slightly.

I pivot us both so that her back is against the shower wall and kiss down her neck. She bounces slightly then her legs wrap around my waist. I bring my hands down to cup her ass again to lift and adjust her to the right spot.

My dick rubs the wetness between her legs and I almost melt into a puddle.

_Fucking A… 2 weeks is a long time._

She tugs on my head to bring my face back to hers and slides one hand down my torso to my cock. I groan when her hand grabs me. I push her up slightly so she can line us up properly. My cock is _right_ there, but she won't let me enter yet.

This is a do or die situation and I feel like I'm going to die.

She looks me dead in the eye. "You ever tell me that I sound like screeching seagulls again, and you will sleep on the couch for at least a month. I'll give the guest bed to Alice for that month. You won't even get the crappy pillows that are in there. Deal?"

At this point, I'd be willing to tell her that I'd paint my balls hot pink every day for her enjoyment. I just want her to let me stick my dick in her.

_That sounds horrible, but… it's the truth._

"Oh yeah, baby. I swear. You don't sound like seagulls anyway. Please just let me stick my dick in. We can keep talking once it's in. I won't thrust. I swear. Just plea-" I'm cut off by her lips.

She kisses me hard, and then pulls back. She's rubbing the head of my cock all over her pussy and making all those little noises that drive me crazy. "You wanna put your cock in my pussy?"

"Oh god, yes. Please. Please. I swear. You don't have to move, just let me put it in there. I'll do whatever you want, baby. Come on."

At this point, I'm just rambling. I'm sure I'm saying things like listing random cereals that I like… there may be random products that I saw at Wal-Mart somewhere in my rambling. I think I may have even just promised to give up my XBOX 360 for a week. I'm sure I'll regret that later, but right now it doesn't even matter.

She slides my cock into place and I feel her pussy surround me. Finally.

_Ohmigoditfeelssofuckinggood. Jeeeeezuz._

I'm doing my best to not thrust like I told her that I wouldn't, but it's so fucking hard.

"Come on, Edward. Fuck. Me. I know you want to. You're already halfway there. Fuck me into the wall. Show me what I've been missing," she whispers into my ear. She only talks this way when she wants really dirty, rough sex.

It's been so long, that I think this might be the best solution.

_I can always make it up to her later._

I grab her hips and start fucking the ever living hell out of her. If there weren't extremely loud moans coming out of her mouth, I'd be worried that she was in pain.

Her head goes back into the wall with a thud just as my eyes roll back into my head. I'm almost there, but I want to make sure that she gets hers, too. So I slow down a bit. I bring one hand to her clit and rub while I give her hard slow thrusts.

The sounds coming from her are magnificent; I just have to look at her. Her hands are in her hair and her tits are bouncing.

_Damn, she's so fucking beautiful._

I bend my head down and pull her nipple into my mouth. I can feel that she is almost there. I speed up my hand, but keep the pace of my slow thrusts.

"Fuck, baby, fuck. Oh yeah… I love you, Edward. Fuck, baby. Fuuuuuuuuuck…" and then she comes. I lift my face up to hers and kiss her. Her hands are back in my hair and she's whispering in my ear.

"Come on baby, come for me. I know you want to come."

I shift my hand back to her hip and speed back up until finally, I come too.

"Ughhhhh….." is the only noise I can manage.

I set my forehead against hers and pull out of her. She rubs her hands up and down my chest. I love these little moments we always have after sex.

She pushes on my chest slightly so I gingerly set her down on her feet. She turns the water off and leads me out of the shower. We quickly dry off and crawl into bed.

For the first time in two weeks, she's curled up into my chest with her nose just peeking over my shoulder and she's rubbing her ice cube toes on my calves. I really couldn't think of anything else I could ask for.

*&^%

**8 weeks later….**

I'm pacing outside the bathroom. This is the first scare we've ever had.

_This cannot be happening. There's no way._

She's been on birth control since she was 16. She told me so.

I scrunch my face up and rub my forehead on the wall beside the door.

The door opens…

"We're going to be parents…" she says.

I don't hear anything else. My head feels like it's full of air and I can't get enough air into my lungs. The next thing I know, the room goes black.

**Thank you to Jo and Ains for their beta work.**

**Thank you to ASS for the banner!**

**Thank you to you for reading despite me being a total fail on the writing front.**


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